Pichle dus mahinon mein..

This morning I caught myself chatting away with friends, unaware of the time & not too worried about being late, at 10 am outside Churchgate station. I'd met an aspiring CA, senior from college & another friend from Office who goes to a different audit client now & thus we don't meet anymore.

Later during the day, the light of realisation shone upon me - I had chosen the life I'm living & enjoyed the little quirks it brought along - the only social life that remained was in the share-a-cab queue for a cab to Nariman Point! Haah. For once, this Monday, I felt good about the whole brouhaha they call 'articleship'!

Pichle dus mahinon mein..

(A tribute to articleship & the joys it brings!
Sing to the tune of 'Pichle saat dinon mein..' from the movie Rock On!!)

Mere blue pens ki refills, teen aadhi padhi novels
(na na – na na na, na na – na na na)
Junk food joints ke phone numbers, aur nostalgic kuch papers
(na na – na na na, na na – na na na)

Mere lunch mein green chutney ka zing,
Mere trinkets aur chandi ke rings,
Pichle dus mahinon mein maine khoya;
Kabhi boss se dhuli main, aur, kabhi colleagues ko dhoya..
(na na – na na na, na na – na na na, na na – na na na, na na – na na na)

Red sneakers aur black ghadi, pyaari thi mujhe badi
(na na – na na na, na na – na na na)
Meri denim ki jacket, tennis aur TT rackets
(na na – na na na, na na – na na na)

Do 'classic rock night' ke passes,
Mere thick-rimmed geeky waaley glasses,
Pichle dus mahinon mein maine khoya;
Kabhi coffee-powered chali main, aur, kabhi khule-aankh soya..
(na na – na na na, na na – na na na, na na – na na na, na na – na na na)

Kaise bhoolon gyaarvah jo month aaya,
CA books ko maine haath lagaya,
Kaisa din tha jis din unko maine pehli baar read kiya tha!

Woh books jo nikley study cabinet se bahar,
Maine jaana kya hai bukhaar,
Maine brains bhi khoya hope bhi khoya;
Kabhi zoron se hasaa dil, aur, kabhi phoot photo ke roya..!

Maine pichle dus mahinon mein yeh sab hai khoya..!
(yeeaaoouu..!)

Sincerely hope Farhan/Luke/Purab is reading; just like that! And yes, Rock On!! does not need my review/approval. I'm starstruck all over again, I'm crowd-surfing - only in a parallel universe! Lauuu-ed the flick!

Cheers. Keedas. Peace.

[PS: Mondays are now officially parody-days! :D]

Vodafone Woes

(Lets forget all about inflation before reading this, yes?)

a.) This post is an outcome of the sudden break in the daily schedule. The fact that I had a Monday evening without class was so exciting, I didn’t even mind walking up to the Vodafone store to annoy them ‘happy to help’ kids!

b.) This ‘Monday evening at Vodafone store’ is not my idea of a fun-time off. But you see, when you’re paying through your nose for something as vital & essential to survival as text messaging, you don’t mind a 10 minute walk & a 40 minute wait (about which, we shall talk soon..)

I was actually doing something different this evening – different from the usual ‘class’ that is. I was walking to the Vodafone store. Okay, I'm over it now.

These guys are rip offs. The bill last month was a shocker. Ask my folks! It was about time I went to talk business with one of them Vodafone fellows and that was exactly what I intended to do. But like every girl on a mission, I had to battle it out – with the hordes who had incidentally planned on paying the store a visit at exactly the same hour.

Anyhoo, it was a relief to see a computerized, touch screen token generating machine at the doorstep. A very Matrix-esque backdrop it was – blinding white walls & the machine. Technology for the masses - I give credit where it is due. And then the time killing began. I couldn't help but frown at the staff who very gingerly, served with a smile. Well, again, the smiles were appreciated. But then again, they had better serve us with smiles – those smiles were burning holes in my Dad’s wallet you know.

This was my vengeance for having chosen Orange/ Hutch/ Vodafone. Somehow, after 294, 297 & 303 had all gone before me (292) the wait was over. As regards the injustice, probing into the matter proved futile. Weary, I walked to the appointed counter to hear the customer care executive say, as if having read my mind, “Sorry to keep you waiting (wide grin)”. An apology? Solace; momentary but solace nonetheless. I giggled in my head & managed a blasé smile – “That’s alright (not)”

Talking business was easy. This was the fun part. I bashed him & demanded a cheaper tariff plan. I probed into a scheme & smirked when I hit bull’s-eye & actually blurted out – “..so that’s the trick”. A little later, in realization of my shameless assertiveness, I toned down & settled for a scheme that I might term ‘slightly better’ than what I was living with for all these years.

The hour at the Vodafone store was worth the mindlessness of the initial 35 minutes & the engaging, almost bargain inducing 15 minutes at the customer-desk. I walked out, feeling a little empowered & a little guilty –
“I'm sorry God, I know it isn’t that guy’s fault that service providers are such rip offs. He just happened to be in my line of fire. Apologies.”

Text messaging will hopefully be taxing only on the thumb & a little easier on the pocket now. It is amazing how these network provider companies make mass-popats out of all, yes all of us! Then again; can’t live with them, can’t live without them!

PS: No more venting out anger in the next few posts. Promise. But while we're at it, can someone please make local trains emptier? The Churchgate fast is khachakhach crowded even at 1.30 in the afternoon!

One more thing - we need more 'Rock On!' like music in Bollywood. Not 'tujhe Aksa beach ghumaaon, aa chalti kya?'

And also, Splitsvilla must end. Period.

Cheers. Keedas. Peace.

Snooze On

Snooze On! - hai yeh clock ka ishaara

Snooze On! - har takiyaa pukaar raha

Snooze On! - arey uthta hai kyon tu?

Snooze On! - Monday mornings aa jaayegi dobara!

[Because sometimes, parodies just happen - even on Monday mornings :)]

iThink

Passing thought:

'Oh come on, you ought to know how bloggers feel about comments! A 'comment', to them, is like their stipend - a minuscule symbol of their tireless labour being appreciated. A small little thing, yet immaculately invaluable..'

Afterthought:

'Its a different story some bloggers are affluent in both comments and stipends. Hmpf.'

Re: Anger management

• First, global warming, climate change & the universal crisis is all boo-huggie. Then, the poor ol' scientists & professors who proposed theories of a universal crisis, who drive around in economy class Santros & Swifts are penalised by sky-rocketing fuel prices and those who don't care two hoots about how much petrol their Z-Class Volkswagen guzzles up, drive around town (the air conditioning switched on, mind you) mocking at everyone who doesn't want to take his car to work today - courtesy price hike. Anyone ever heard of progressive taxation? How about using progressive pricing for the amiir baap ki bigdi hui aulaad? Why must the economising, level-headed man pay for the exorbitant petrol?
• Lock a bunch of girls desperate for a date with a wannabe Roadie in a huge house together & what do you get? Ans: A bunch of losers who would go no end to an appreciative gesture from a guy who was just some guy a couple of days ago. Sheesh - who knows these guys even now? Whatever happened to feminism & self-respect? Hell, I don't even know where to start making fun of this show! Die Splitsvilla. Period.
• I don't get eunuchs. Not all of the ones we see in trains & all are genuine, methinks. What is on their mind? "Look kid, I'm a man in woman's clothing. I rubbed my palms all over your head & blessed you with a good husband & a happy life. So give me your money. Now."
• As it is, the whole idea of 'working' in an 'office' is gradually seeming quite banal. To top that, when I do manage to waste time by colouring cells in MS Excel sheets in the colours of the flags of the countries playing Euro 2008, some random female/ male must, mandatorily peep at my monitor & give me the 'OMG you're wasting time!' look. Where is the love, people?
• I'll kill anyone who spreads her legs while seated in a local train, in order to occupy more space/ sit comfortably. I'll also assault anyone who litters. Ok, maybe I won't be that harsh. But that doesn't mean these kinda people don't enrage me!
• I had fond memories of the epic Mahabharata. You'll pay for this, Ekta K-kk-kkapoor.

Cheers. Keedas. Aaarrghh!